Rational-Ethical Leadership (REL) is a way of leading your life, not just your team, your family, or your community, with clarity, courage, and compassion. It’s not about having power. It’s about using your power, however limited or quiet it may seem, with purpose.

REL helps people make decisions that are strategic and ethical, even when life feels chaotic. It’s especially powerful for those navigating tough circumstances: single parents, immigrants, youth, families living in poverty, or anyone trying to lead without a safety net.

Let’s look at what REL looks like in real life.

REL in REAL Life: A Story from Bogotá

Lucía is a 27-year-old mother of three living in Bogotá, Colombia. Her oldest daughter, Camila, age 9, was being bullied at school for wearing secondhand clothes. One afternoon, Camila came home in tears and begged not to go back.

Lucía’s heart broke. She wanted to protect her daughter. Her first impulse was to confront the teacher and demand action. But she paused. She’d recently started reading the REL Way guidebooks and had been practicing the model’s approach to decision-making.

She took a breath and walked herself through the REL process:

Lucía’s Thought Process

1. Think Long-Term

Lucía asked herself: What outcome do I want, not just today, but for Camila’s future? She realized she didn’t just want the bullying to stop. She wanted Camila to feel proud of who she was, regardless of what she wore. She wanted her daughter to learn how to stand tall in the face of judgment. That meant modeling strength, not just reacting to pain.

2. Act with Integrity

Next, she considered: What action reflects my values, even if it’s hard? Lucía decided to speak with the teacher calmly, not to accuse, but to collaborate. She also talked to Camila about dignity, explaining that their clothes didn’t define their worth. That night, they decorated Camila’s backpack together with affirmations in bright colors: “I am strong,” “I am kind,” “I am enough.”

3. Resist Emotional Impulsivity

Lucía felt the urge to pull Camila out of school or lash out at the teacher. But she paused again. Will this reaction help, or just release my frustration?

She chose to wait one day before acting. That space gave her clarity. Her conversation with the teacher was more productive. And Camila, seeing her mother’s calm strength, felt braver walking into class the next morning.

The Outcome

Camila still faced challenges, but she began to respond differently. She started writing her own affirmations. Her teacher introduced a classroom activity on kindness. And Lucía felt more confident, not just as a mother, but as a leader. That’s Rational-Ethical Leadership. It’s not about perfection. It’s about reflection. It’s about choosing your response, even when emotions run high and options feel limited.

Try It Today

Ask yourself:

What decision am I facing, and how can I think long-term, act with integrity, and resist emotional impulsivity?

You don’t need wealth, status, or permission to lead. You just need a moment to reflect, and the courage to choose wisely.

Explore more tools like this in the REL Way guidebook series; available now on Amazon.